The Death under a pillow


There is a story in every poetry.

My cousin Heamus, 28, was diagnosed with leukaemia, final stage,

on September, 2005. The last five months of life he spent

on a hospital bed, putting up with the idea of dying;

during that time, he wrote me a letter monthly,

expressing thoughts about his own Death,

which occured on January, 2006, while

he was writing one more letter.

He never finished it.

He just started to be a man;

but what a man! I believe he never

knew turpitude or anger. He was a giver

and a lover. Moonstruck, as well. I just couldn’t

enter his hospital room. I stepped back from the door

so many times. I devoured his letters. As I was reading them

again and again, they were converting into lines. Which I wrote

down. It felt like I was living myself with the Death under my pillow.

There is a poetry in every story.
September
: no known names

Dare to imagine: blood, flesh, bones,

so many needles in the stones

of whispers. The tiles bemoans,

the wheelchair lispers. To that attune

the screaking, yellow, heavy moon,

sleeping over a grim pontoon,

the dark and putrid, sapless water,

this doctor here, ready to slaughter

my corpse and leave shortly after…


 

I wish I were a song to fly,

to leave away without goodbye

and never ever come nearby!

For me to die, is there an aim?

I’d call on somebody, to blame!

I can’t remember any name…


Dare to imagine: Death’s the same.

October: no more dance

The winter occurs with furies, bedazzling the sphere.

After all the wonders I’ve lived in New Britain,

after all the poems I have never written,

after all the sunsets I have wept with fear

for arriving darkness…

Looming from the rear,

here she comes departing for another riot,

with the eyes of a swan, hungry, sick and quiet,

begging me to stay! Fibbing to my ears…

I begun being emptied of the slumbered years!

But don’t you stop, keep lying, sing, swing and laugh,

have a child with me, let me cop the plea! Although

time’s up, says cancer…

I could never dance again

with the glorious light from my bloated vein.

Soon, I shall switch my soul for a fist of earth.

To a dove of roses our love gives birth.

Take me in your arms one last time and crave.

Alas, I have to look for a gilded grave!

The moon went to sleep on a frozen wave.

November: no way back

’T is a butterfly effect,

or all just turns in ember.

Who brawls me this lullaby

and offers molten amber?

Death’s comin’: heavy steps

pacing over my traces.

I’ll be going on my way,

whitening all the faces.

Don’t cry, don’t call on me,

don’t beckon, don’t despair!

Memory’s a pain. We are

not anymore a pair.

A stone I’ll be, a blade,

a bird, a briar… Bygone

wishes having a parade -

but nothing I require.

No way back,

they say,

remember?

Enjoy

the moonshine

of November!

December: no longer a crime

For you I’m waiting every night,

till night is crawling out of sight.

Each morn for you I wait thus far,

till morn is playing the guitar.

It’s you I’m calling every night,

with wrath, with fear, with delight!

And every dawn I call on you!…

(Screams and tears added to.)

Hail! I’d like to linger a rhyme

to which we could dance cheek to cheek

while our bodies each other would seek!

To love you’s no longer a crime.

Embark the wherry and be merry!

I do not actually know Mary,

did I ever loved some Beth?

It’s only you, forever: Death!

What does the moon lie on the aerie?

January: not completed

You, Death, uninvited you came and nestled under my

I have acrid dew on my lips, the words are burning

pregnant words, ripe fruits with golden worms

My blood is a flower dispersing its seeds over

The swans can’t beat the mist and upon

sick night, dense dark. Am I affraid of

I wana reap a basket of stars from

imprisoned memories visiting

stepped on nails and stars

My wings are hurting

cancer got hungry

I did not wield

Full moon

Thanat

amor

0 Responses to “The Death under a pillow”


  1. No Comments

Lasă un Răspuns




Fundamente

"Ultima mea voinţă Unicul dor al vieţii mele e să-mi văd Naţiunea mea fericită, pentru care după puteri am şi lucrat până acuma, durere fără mult succes, ba tocma acuma cu întristare văd, că speranţele mele şi jertfa adusă se prefac în nimica. Nu ştiu câte zile mai pot avea ; un fel de presimţire îmi pare că mi-ar spune, că viitorul este nesigur. Voiesc dar şi hotărât dispun, ca după moartea mea, toată averea mea mişcătoare şi nemişcătoare să treacă în folosul naţiunii, pentru ajutor la înfiinţarea unei academii de drepturi; tare crezând, că luptătorii cu arma legii vor putea scoate drepturile naţiunii mele. Câmpeni 20 decembrie 1850" Avram Iancu